please click here
to go back to the original home page.
02-04-10
I guess after that last cryptic message I left on here
1-14-10
Well, I'm going to make this episode short and sweet
07-18-09
Well, I'm going to make this short and to the point.
This episode in the continuing saga of
Well, as you know, I had a quadruple bypass in Feb. of 2008.
HURRY! HURRY!
And here it is. Your two-for-one special. On Feb 23rd I went into the hospital... New and updated as of 12/15/08.
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE??
You know what? New and updated as of 7/24/08.
Well, here we still go...
New and updated as of 7/18/08.
So, here's what happened.
New and updated as of 6/29/08.
Well, it's been a couple of months since I had serious bypass surgery
And this is where it all started!!!!!!!
All I did was go to the doctor about some chest pains I was having.
Yet another stirring episode in:
"They ripped my heart out and
stomped that sucker flat!"
This episode is called:
Resurrection.
I should leave another note that I kind of feel like
I'm starting to deal with the depression and anxiety a little better now.
I'm starting to figure out I may have a couple things to live for.
I'm starting to figure out that sitting here waiting to die sucks.
I'm starting to miss a lot of the things I used to do.
I'm starting to realize that even though I can't play drums anymore,
my life can still have a purpose,
All-in-all, The depression is just now starting to give way to determination.
Slowly, little-by-little, but surely.
Now, to find a purpose...a direction...a cause...a reason.
Been really sick for a long time.
Still going to be.
Don't want to be.
Who even cares anymore.
Me, least of all.
Thanks for tuning in, all two of you.
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
09-26-09
A brand new and thrilling chapter in the continuing saga of
"They ripped my heart out and
stomped that sucker flat!"
Today's new episode is called,
"It's raining, it's pouring
the old man is fed up!"
as well. "Why?" you ask with deep concern and curiosity.
How hard can it be to get fluid out of my body?
Apparently, very hard
I've lost a total of 120 pounds, and have only
decreased my weight a total of about 45.
"Why?" you ask again, getting more interested by the second.
Because every time I lose weight, I turn around and gain back
almost as much as I've lost. Sometimes, I gain more weight in fluid
than I have lost.
That's why I can lose 120 pounds total, and only be 45 pounds ahead.
I have to keep losing the same weight over and over again.
So, yet again I'm going into the hospital for some IV diuretics
to get the weight off.
The problem with gaining the fluid weight for me is that,
as my body fills up with fluid, it compresses my heart,
which is a bad thing.
Long-story-short, I'll feel much better when I get out of the hospital...again,
but I don't know how long it will last.
We'll just have to wait and see.
More updates coming soon, I'm sure.
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
A brand new update on the continuing saga of
"They ripped my heart out and
stomped that sucker flat!!"
This episode is called
"Water, water everywhere and
not a drop to drink."
Why? Because I'm tired.
The doctor put me on a small addition to my diuretics.
A small addition that was supposed to jump start
my kidneys a little. Just a little.
We just needed to increase the rate
of the fluid coming off of me.
Just a little.
I lost 30 pounds of fluid in two days.
That's 2, count them, two (2) days.
Guess where I ended up again?
Yup. You're right. In the hospital.
(You're so smart.)
So, I was semi-comatose, my heart went into odd rhythms,
and all my electrolytes were practically gone.
But wait! It gets better!!
I got out of the hospital on Wednesday,
and by Friday, I had gained 21 pounds!
21! That's Twenty-One! Twenty-One (21) pounds in two days!
That's 21 in 2 days. Two days. And that's after having lost
30 pounds in two (2) days.
Sigh...I'm ready for it to be over.
No one is reading this.
All my friends care, but people tend to shy away
because they just don't know what to say anymore.
They all ask, "How are you doing?"
They expect to hear, "Oh, better. Much better. Thanks."
When they don't hear that, they get uncomfortable and start
to drift away. People shy away from discomfort.
People at work keep saying to stay home until
I'm back to 100%. They don't understand either.
"NOW HEAR THIS!!!!!!!
I HAVE HEART FAILURE!!!!!!!
I'M NOT EVER GOING TO BE 100% AGAIN!!!!!!!
I'LL HAVE GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS
AND THEN I'M GOING TO EVENTUALLY DIE!!!!!
SOME DAY WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT,
I'LL HAVE A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK AND FALL OVER DEAD!!!!!!!
STOP ASKING ME IF I'M BETTER!!!!!!!
STOP ROOTING FOR ME TO GET BACK TO THE WAY I WAS!!!!!!!
STOP TELLING ME YOU'RE ROOTING FOR A COMPLETE RECOVERY!!!!!!
HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well.......fine! Just leave me alone then.
(But really, I'm begging....Please don't. I'm scared.)
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
"THEY RIPPED MY HEART OUT AND
STOMPED THAT SUCKER FLAT!"
is called:
"Easy come, easy go, easy go."
(Wow! How time flies when you're having fun!)
Two of those four new arteries have now shut down for good.
They kept putting stents in them to keep them open,
but to no avail. They are just gone. Kiss them good-bye.
However, my heart has been doing something pretty cool all on its own.
It's building what's called Collateral Circulation.
That's when your heart builds its own little new arteries
in places where it needs them.
That's what mine is doing. It's a slow and painful process,
but it's better than the alternative, which is me=dead. I'm in Cardiac Rehab now and
they put me on yet more meds to encourage my heart to build
those new arteries and quickly and efficiently as possible.
Did I say it was painful?
I wouldn't want to leave that part out.
What isn't anymore?
Thanks for tuning in. More updates coming soon.
Please check back to see how the rehab is going for me.
Click here
to go back to the original home page.
GET A TWO-FOR-ONE SPECIAL!!!
A BRAND NEW AND EXCITING UPDATE ON 03-22-09
about my heart ripped out, up and open
and stomping that sucker flat thingy stuff.
But this time you get TWO for the price of ONE!!!
(I wish they offered Frequent Visitor Hours.
You could trade them in like frequent flyer miles
and get things like golf club socks and
a combination alarm clock/collapsible drinking cup.)
...and I spent a week in there. While in there they took
30 pounds of water off of me. Yes, 30 pounds.
When you go to the grocery store and buy a gallon of water,
that weighs about 5 to 8 pounds, I would guess.
30 pounds inside you is enough water to make even Noah nervous.
I'd only been complaining to my cardiologist
about my swelling for a year, so I guess the Water-Retention Fairy
visited him before my last visit and told him it was time
to do something about the fluid problem.
"Good deal!" I thought.
I felt better afterward. I truly did. It’s amazing how much better
losing 30 pounds of water, then about another 15 in the 2 weeks
after my hospital visit, will actually make you feel.
I can’t tell you how sick I’ve been for a year, and I finally actually
felt better. Not 100%, but enough of a bit better to be able to tell
I had been a lot sicker than I even thought I had been for the previous year.
(The contrast is hard to explain if you’ve not ever been there.
Some of you have. You know.)
But, this feeling better thing, that's apparently not such a good thing.
If you're not sick anymore, medical facilities can't bill your
insurance company and make money...hence, the current financial crisis.
Far be it from me to add strife to this already staggering economy.
So, since the water was out of the way,
(I guess all that fluid was clouding their view of my heart. Distorting it, perhaps.)
and they were finally able to determine that just one more stent in my heart was necessary
just to fix the last little bit of clogged stoppage that they
couldn't fix the other four times they'd been inside my heart in the last year,
I agreed, wanting to do my part to help fix our economy.
And so..... (Here's the two-for-one part)
...my 50th birthday was on Wednesday, March 18th, and I had one more heart surgery
on Thursday, March 19th. It's now the 22nd and all I can say is...
WOW!!! This one was rough. It hurt. It hurt bad. It still does.
I could feel everything he was doing inside my heart and it feels like
he's still in there chopping away at something.
I still feel rough. Very rough. I feel sick. I guess had I known that I was going to
feel this badly, I would have more fully enjoyed that 2 weeks of feeling better after
the flood-o'-Billy at the end of February.
I sure hope I start feeling better soon. I probably will.
Otherwise, I'm going to think
it was all a hoax (pronounced hoe-ax).
I do feel good about doing my part to help fix this economy though.
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
ANYONE?? ANYONE?? BUELLER?? BUELLER??
A FRESH NEW UPDATE!
And now, yet another original and exciting episode in
the continuing dramatic saga of,
"They ripped my heart out and
stomped that sucker flat."
I don't even want to talk about it anymore.
or still go again...
or, once more around the fire...
or the Mulberry bush...
or whatever.
Something still isn't right with my heart.
What is wrong? I don't know yet and neither do the doctors...
yet. They will. They always do in the end...usually.
I'm sure they'll figure it out and do whatever is necessary
to get me fixed up and back to my old self again.
And, I'm sure it'll involve a moderate to severe amount of
discomfort for me.
So, stay tuned to this channel
for updates and information
on the continuing saga of:
"THEY RIPPED MY HEART OUT AND
STOMPED THAT SUCKER FLAT!!!!!"
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
Two of the four new arteries the surgeon
put in my heart back in February collapsed.
Is this common? No. But, it does happen.
Obviously!!!
So, they went into my heart...again,
first trying to perform the procedure with a scope...again,
like they unsuccessfully tried to do
the first time back in February,
But this time they successfully put three stents into
those two collapsed arteries
successfully opening them up and
saving my heart from damage,
and saving me from dying. I liked that part.
"YEA, ME!!!!!!"
Now, this should be fairly simple and routine...
if in fact having people probe around inside your heart can
ever truly be considered simple and routine.
The problem was that the surgeon almost wasn't able to do it
with a scope, and they came to within prep time of me having to have
my chest cracked open again before he was finally able to
accomplish the procedure with a scope.
WHEW!!!!
Dodged a bullet there!!!
I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even my worst enemy!!!!
Well, hmmm...okay, Yeah, I would...
And I'd laugh about it...
And probably do a little "happy dance"
and smile about it everytime I thought about it...
But besides that, no one else....well...
not that I can think of....
right now...
Anyway, it was a struggle and now I'm finally getting better
and yada-yada-yada...yak-yak-yak...
My heart hurts like a sore muscle...
which is a kind of pain you really can't describe.
Your heart's a muscle. Like when you get a sore shoulder
or pull a muscle in your leg or something like that...
but it's your heart...and it's in your chest...
no words to describe this. It's just freaky.
But I am getting better and it'll all be over and done with soon
and I now have the heart of a 20-year-old.
Strong! Young! Healthy! Verile!
Ya-Hoo!!!!
All's well that ends well...
for now.
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
and all was going well.......
until I had a chest pain again.
I didn't think anything of the first one.
I didn't even think anything of the second one.
But then they got very bad and I started having them regularly.
So, I dragged myself to the doctor again,
did another stress test again,
had deja-vu again, (isn't that redundant?),
and, low and behold, the area of my heart
that was showing abnormalities is still and/or once again
showing abnormalities. Therefore, I have another appointment
with a heart surgeon to fix whatever the problem is.
I can't tell you how excited I am about this.
Stay tuned for further updates as they come in.
After you have read this message,
please click here
to go back to the original home page.
I had been having them for quite a while, actually.
But the situations never seemed to be sympathetic to my condition
so I just kept kind of putting it off.
Besides, I thought it was a condition called Angina.
Be that as it may, I finally decided to get something done about it.
The doctor had me do an ECHO and a stress test.
That turned out to be a problem since I had just had knee surgery about 6 months ago
and the stress test she was giving me was chemically enduced.
A lot of people presented with a bad arrythmia because of the drugs used to simulate stress.
So, a second kind of stress test was ordered for the following week.
For other reasons, that was also called "inconclusive."
That could only mean one thing. I needed to go under the knife and get "the scope."
You know, that's where they put you under and run a camera into an artery
in your groin and follow it up into your heart and see what's going on in there.
We all figured I'd need a balloon angioplasty on a couple of suspect spots.
Well, they don't do the "balloon thing" anymore. Now they place a stint in your artery.
(All the while, I'm starting to like this less and less.)
I mean, it's surgery on your heart. It's icky. And I'd have to take a couple of days off work to recoup.
So, I'm laying on the table waking up from what I think is the icky
camera-in-my-artery thingy.....and the doctor says,
"My friend? Are you awake? We need to talk. You were a time bomb and you just went off.
So, do you want us to save your life, or do you want us to let you die?"
My response was pretty much, "Huh?"
"You need to have the big dog daddy operation.
What we're doing here isn't going to make any difference to you at all."
"Can we talk about it? I mean, I figure you at
least owe me dinner for this one."
"Sure. I'll get a consult with my staff, I'll bring the pictures and we'll go over
your options tomorrow morning."
"Okay."
I spent the next hour waking up from that procedure.
The next day he showed me pictures of arteries that were 90% and 99%blocked,
arteries that were crimped and he couldn't even get a camera to them,
and the biggest prize, my main pumping artery that supplies my heart with blood
was over 75% blocked.
Now, I also need to stress this point.
The condition of my heart WAS NOT due to me living it up,
eating whatever and however I wished, and WAS NOT due to
the usual list of suspected behaviors contributing to heart problems.
My blood pressure has always been good.
I'm not a diabetic.
My cholesterol is 176.
Both my LDL and HDL levels are good.
And yet....
Yes in deedy folks!! I'm now the proud owner
of an open heart quadruple bypass surgery.
First they make the verticle incision and cut through all your chest muscles
right down to your breastbone.
Then they spread all that apart
and take a powersaw and cut clear through
your breatbone. Then they take rib spreaders
and spread your chest apart exposing your heart so they
can work on it.
Then they get the arteries they're going to put in your heart
out of your leg. Sometimes from several places in your legs.
And depending on how many they need will determine how many
of these you end up with. I have four. I can't show you number four.
It's right in the crack and crevase on my leg. Yeah, that hurts.
They automatically wire you for a pacemaker.
That's what those wires are with the little metal leads on the ends.
After a couple of days go by they decide whether your heart
is going to step up to the plate or not.
Mine did, so they removed my wires.
Between those wires are three holes where drainage
tubes as big as my middle finger are placed.
After the surgery, they bind you all back up with
stuff that looks like chicken wire. Now, it's medical
grade chicken wire, but chicken wire all the same.
These are pictures of me contemplating the depths and reaches of
mental and emotional anquish, the limits to which the human psyche can adapt,
the limits of pain the human body can endure through the use of powerful painkillers.
All-in-all, it's been an adventure.
Now back to your regularly scheduled web site by clicking here.
billythedrummer@yahoo.com
