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Aphorisms

These may be funny, but they also seem to be very true.



99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen & stupidity.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
You can't fall off the floor.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Eagles soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.




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